Friday, January 14, 2011

Character: What women think of your fashion By Matt Christensen

Sure, you know what you like to wear, but do you have any clue what your date thinks of your look? With the help of three women and a fashion stylist, we put seven common men’s fashion statements on trial. Which ones will live to see date night — and which will get locked away for good by the fashion police? All rise…fashion court is in session!

Meet the fashion police:
Caitlin, 30, retail, Kansas City, MO
Lauren, 22, marketing, Columbus, OH
Jane, 23, student, Brooklyn, NY
Maria, 27, fashion stylist, New York, NY

Fashion Statement #1: Baseball caps
“A lot of guys actually look cuter with a hat on. It really suits the younger crowd. But it can look strange on older men: What are they trying to hide under there?”
– Lauren

“These are fine for daytime dates, but a chronic display of baseball caps would send up warning flags about hair loss — and the guy’s embarrassed about it.”
– Caitlin

“Guys look hot in baseball caps. As long as you’re in a casual atmosphere, like a sports event or the park, go for it!”
– Jane

“I love guys in baseball caps. Just be sure to give your head a breather every now and then…”
– Maria

The jury says: NOT GUILTY! This fashion statement gets pardoned, thanks to its classic, casual vibe. But you and your cap should spend some time apart, too. Sure, the hat might be hurt, but it’s healthier for the relationship in the long run.

Fashion Statement #2: Earrings
“I don’t think this trend is so bad. Sure, it may be a little ‘boy band,’ but a lot of girls secretly like that.”
– Lauren

“Earrings are OK, so long as they aren’t dangly. Specifically, the boy-band style hoop earrings are atrocious. I went out with a guy who wore them, and it was like staring across the table at a pirate.”
– Caitlin

“Unless your name is Donnie, Joey, Danny, Jordan, or Jonathan, you shouldn’t be wearing one earring. Two is more acceptable, and only if they’re not bigger than a pencil eraser.”
– Jane

“Keep them a decent size, and you’re golden. But once they get too large, no matter how big the diamonds are, it’s time to rethink things. No girl wants a guy with ears like a beagle!”
– Maria

The jury says: SPLIT DECISION! Remember, guys, you don’t want your jewelry to outshine your date’s. Keep your studs understated, and they’ll look cool. But wear earrings that are big and showy, and she’ll be asking, “Hey, where’s your parrot?”

Fashion Statement #3: Bluetooth ear clip
“Guys who wear these clips should always set their phones to vibrate. It’s obnoxious.”
– Lauren

“These are a paradox. On the one hand, they suggest that you are very busy, forward-thinking, etc. But, on the other hand, the only guys who I ever see wearing them are also sporting ridiculously puffy, pleated khakis. Go figure.”
– Caitlin

“Every time I see these, I imagine the guy facing another corporate drone from the opposite end of a fluorescently lit hallway, not a guy who is ready to take me out for the night.”
– Jane

“This look makes women assume that you have 2.5 kids and a golden retriever waiting behind a picket fence in the ’burbs.”
– Maria

The jury says: GUILTY! Ditch them! Bluetooth clips are the fanny pack of this decade and deserve a home in the trash, not on your body.

Fashion Statement #4: Socks with sandals
“Anyone over the age of 10 should know better. Unless you’re making a concerted effort to remain in your parents’ basement until you’re 40, ditch the socks, or find some shoes.”
– Lauren

“This doesn’t even reflect bad fashion sense — it reflects a lack of fashion sense altogether. One guy actually came to pick me up for a first date in this combo. I’m trying to remember whether or not he was wearing a Hard Rock CafĂ© shirt, of if my brain just filled that in years after the fact. No, it was definitely a Hard Rock shirt.”
– Caitlin

“If your feet are going to be cold in sandals, why wouldn’t you just, I dunno…wear shoes?”
– Jane

“Does any guy still do that?!”
– Maria

The jury says: GUILTY! While the comfort level may be high, the blinding effect of bright white tube socks and Tevas will make sure you enjoy yourself sans female companionship.

Fashion Statement #5: Ripped/distressed jeans
“If it’s a genuine pair of ripped, torn, well-worn jeans, then they’re totally sexy.”
– Lauren

“Ripped jeans fall into two categories. Either they’re legitimately ragged because they’re your favorite, or you’ve been instructed on what’s trendy and have spent $200 on pre-ripped, distressed denim. The former is fine. The latter is a jerk alert.”
– Caitlin

“Depending on the appropriateness of the ripped areas, these are all right. But, if there’s any visible indication of your boxer shorts, forget it.”
– Jane

“These will always be in style. A guy’s favorite pair of jeans is special. You know, as long as they aren’t acid-washed!”
– Maria

The jury says: NOT GUILTY! No real guy would ever throw away his favorite pair of jeans — even if they look like they did battle with a shredder. Thank goodness the ladies agree that they’re not only appropriate, but appealing, as long as those holes and tears were come by honestly.

Fashion Statement #6: Popped (or turned-up) shirt collars
“I’ve actually turned guys’ collars down for them. It’s a guy trying way too hard to be trendy.”
– Lauren

“Truth be told, I like this look. You have to be extremely confident to pull it off.”
– Caitlin

“If your neck is cold, wear a scarf.”
– Jane

“This is a trend that definitely got out of hand. But some guys can pull it off. It’s not going to make a guy incredibly enticing to me, but it wouldn’t turn me off, either.”
– Maria

The jury says: SPLIT DECISION! If you look like an Express Men catalog dude, feel free to pop away. You’re the person that the look was tailor-made for. But if you don’t have the confidence to rock the fashion statement, you’re best letting gravity style your collar.

Fashion Statement #7: Sports jerseys
“Football jerseys are adorable on game day. But the basketball jerseys with white undershirts need to go. They remind me of my high school’s JV team.”
– Lauren

“If I met someone wearing a jersey, I’d immediately assume he’s a guy’s guy. He likes cars, dogs, and sports. That’s attractive. But, if he showed up for a date wearing one, I’d make him wait while I slipped into my sweats and flip-flops.”
– Caitlin

“Basketball jerseys are the worst. Nobody wants to see your armpit hair.”
– Jane

“If there’s a game on, a jersey is not just acceptable but encouraged. Otherwise, there really isn’t a good time to bring it out of retirement.”
– Maria

The jury says: NOT GUILTY! Rest easy, pal. You can hang on to that prized Drew Brees jersey. Just be sure to wear it on game day, and bench it during the off-season. And save the hoops gear for, well, the basketball court.

Matt Christensen has written for Maxim and WWE Magazine. He’s single-handedly trying to bring back pocket protectors. For the other side of this story, read What the guys think of your fashion.



Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

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