Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Neale Sourna Writing Services / Editing Services at Guru.com (Games Narrative, Novels, etc.)


Wednesday, November 25, 2020

New Page_Writing Sample: WAITING for YOU



-a dating sim

(work in progress)

        A struggling author meets a sweet girl, a wild girl, and a tough guy husband.

        What could go very right or very wrong in the game of love, lust, and making a living?

_dialog / narration / characterizations built upon from client outline


MEET Angelica


P ANG smiles to the COTS

P ANG looks at COTS - she isn't satisfied



 ABR visits the office building for the first time and he needs to meet his publisher. ANG guides him.

 After clicking on Angelica

P ANG stands behind the reception counter smiling

        ANG: Good afternoon, how may I help you?

        ABR: I'm Abramo Tutti. I have an appointment with Stephen More at “Black letters” publishing house's new offices.

        ANG: All right, Mr. Tutti, just let me check his schedule. Oh. Here it is. Yes, your meeting is on the twenty-third floor and ... you're already five minutes late.

        ABR: I know. Sorry. All these towers are confusing, I wasn't able to find your building, without stopping twice and asking for help. I don't come downtown too often.

        ANG: Don't look so worried. I work on Stephen's desk a lot, he nearly always runs late; so you have a good chance to beat him to his office. Here's your guest pass and take that bank of elevators over there. I'll call ahead to let his assistant know you're on your way up, Mr. Tutti.

        ABR: Thanks. What is your name, good lady?

        ANG: "Good lady"? Well, good sir, my name is Angelica. Don't be nervous, you'll do fine, Mr. Tutti.

        ABR: Thanks for all your kind help, Angelica. I need all the prayer and well wishes I can get.

P ANG has her hands on the counter and smiles to the COTS (CENTER OF THE SCREEN)

        NARRATOR: I'd entered the forbidding office tower feeling harried and afraid I was about to lose everything. If I'm not a published writer, then I'm an unemployed writer. But, now I truly feel more confident and less like I'm dragging a burden. Maybe there really is a God, or whoever who sent the kind angel, Angelica to bless my day. Well, everyone's day, she's not just here for me. Or is she?

        NARRATOR: Hm, good story point. Whatever, if this publishing goes bust, maybe I'll try for a regular day job in this building so I can see and speak with Angelica every day.


New Page_Writing Sample: Flirting With Yasmine



-a dating sim

(work in progress)

        A guy crashes at his married best friends' apartment, where he gets to meet some new friends, and gets better reacquainted with his close besties, while getting his life and loves back on track.

        Who and what would be your choice?

_dialog / narration / characterizations built upon from client outline


Day 1

S_0001 LOG in CASUAL clothes with luggage standing in front of a building

        NARRATOR: Fuck! I don't want to do this! But, here I am, anyway, standing in front of my best friend's place, ready to move in 'cause, currently, I don't have a place to live. I was evicted from my apartment … for not paying my rent, which wasn't.... Fuck it, that's an unpleasant story I'm just too disgusted to talk about, right now.

        NARRATOR: I know you're thinking I'm a fortunate guy to have a friend like Nathan ready to provide me shelter, meals, and WiFi for 30 whole days; but, well.... I'm more lucky than you know. Kind of. You see, Nathan may be my best bud; but, he married THE girl of all girls for me; my high school crush - Yasmine.

        NARRATOR: Oh, yes, Yasmine, the one girl, who could lift my mood with just the mischievous quirk of her shapely lips; my partner-in-crime, who would laugh until she'd nearly faint whenever I got away with something; the girl, who bested all of my stupidest jokes with even sillier ones of her own.

        NARRATOR: Yasmine was my confidante, the only one who ever lent an attentive ear to any and all of my problems and secrets; except one. 'Cause, I kinda, well, never told Yasmine my most important secret; that I'd fallen, completely and undyingly, for her. I never told her that every time she had spoken to me of another latest crush on some lucky, stupid guy ... I would grimace a brittle smile, while feeling my soul shatter to shards, taking my broken heart with it.

        NARRATOR: I do know why she never thought of me like that, except because my fat ass then could never, would never number among any of her crushes, or desires. Why would I want to see lovely and perfect Yasmine, again, knowing she would NEVER see me as more than a friend? An asexual … friend.

        NARRATOR: That is Yasmine for me: Heaven and Hell in one gorgeous package. Honestly, parting ways with her after high school graduation was the most bittersweet and painfully difficult experience of my younger life. Meeting her again may top that long ago childish history. Married to my best friend, while I've avoided her, until now.... I'm not quite sure what this will be like.



Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Showing Writing Changes, Chap 1 Becca DuMaurier (part 1)


Showing Writing Changes, Chap 1 Becca DuMaurier

      This and the next few posts will show you changes made while changing several website story chapters of a short story "novelette" into a novel, well, novel series. Here is proof that good things need time for story, character, research, and a novelist to grow something wonderful.

      Yes, the shorts were great, if I do say so myself and my client and her website visitors; but more of a good thing is great too.

Original Client Short Story_Feb 2008

_899 wds


Becca in the Woods Cornwall, England UK; 1680s

Becca’d been on her way to her betrothal, or rather she’d escaped from crowded, maddening London, back to her stormy, Atlantic tossed Cornwall coast;,; three hundred miles further west than most London courtiers would ever venture.


The whole world was in mad upheaval! Pirates raided coasts. Neighbor killed neighbor, for God and Right. Their Catholic king’d run away and his daughter, with her Dutch Protestant husband, now ruled; as Becca’s healthy loveliness and strong family name remained besieged by an earl, whose grown heir had died, and now he wanted another, by her.


Unlucky Becca.


She’d lost two babes; both to fever, then lost her beloved, gentle husband in the king’s senseless wars and now this earl, older than her father, had reached out his covetous hands, to make her his countess, in payment for her father’s impending bankruptcy.

Both men had...more... https://www.patreon.com/NealeSourna

Saturday, September 05, 2020

Another "Simple" Way I Name Characters_Sep 5, 2020 at 10:26 PM EST


This is a simple naming technique when writer characters and degenerating character names.


When I travel, to work or wherever, my stories and characters are percolating in the back or to the fore of my mind. Street addresses to name a character. Especially, ones that come one after another or conjoin at intersections can be helpful; because you can find interesting character names.


Just keep in mind if what you come up with relates to their ethnicity or culture, time period, financial level, etc.


Happy hunting.


More helpful tips at....


Friday, September 04, 2020

BUY Neale Sourna of PIE: Perception Is Everything ebooks at Payhip





Neale Sourna at PIE: Perception Is Everything

Neale has been authoring, editing, doing book/ebook layout and publishing about a decade and won BlackRefer.com's Best Erotica Novel award for her first novel, "Hobble," published through her own company, PIE: Perception Is Everything, and Neale successfully ranked as a finalist for New Century Screenplay's national contest for her script, "FRAMES." Neale also writes and edits for others through her writing company Neale Sourna's Writing-Naked.com; including stories for the Orchid Games' / Sandlot Games distrib: Heartwild Solitaire Game Series and Inertia Software's Margrave Manor Game Series. Neale's many published works, for ebook, print and online, have an edge that always brings the reader back to the core of being human. "I don't write 'romance' stories, but character love stories. http://www.neale-sourna.com/Sournabio.html