Fad Fashion #1: Designer sweats/sweats with words on them
“This look always reminds me of self-absorbed teenage girls that hang out at the mall. Did you just come from Claire’s or something?”
– Steve, 31, writer, Missouri
“The words try to make sweats something that they’re not. Sweats should be basic, comfortable, and laid-back. That’s what makes them sexy.”
– Andrew, 25, grad student, Ohio
“With words like ‘juicy’ and ‘pink’ on them, it makes me wonder about what message these girls are really trying to send. Not hot.”
– Joey, 29, analyst, Vermont
– Ed, 29, nightclub manager, Ohio
The jury says: Bargain bin! The sooner you turn these togs into rags, the better. If you want a guy to check out your figure, it’s probably best to not cover it with random adjectives or ad campaigns.
Fad Fashion #2: T-shirts with witty slogans or sayings
“Ninety-five percent of the girls who wear t-shirts that say something like ‘Out Of Your League’ really aren’t, actually. And shirts like these only serve to point that out. As for the other five percent, why rub it in?”
“I love a woman in a t-shirt. But I can’t get behind the off-the-shelf sort of generic slogan, message, or design. Now, a legit, vintage concert or band t-shirt, that’s a different story.”
“These could be fun. But, only if the messages read something like ‘LARP is a Battlefield’ or ‘I’ve Seen Bloodsport.’ The traditional messages, like ‘Team Jacob’ and ‘Drama Queen’ make me wonder when your parents are coming to pick you up.”
“Trendy does not, nor will it ever, equal sexy. Trading that ‘Your Future Ex-Wife’ top for a basic white t-shirt will get you more flattering looks instead of repulsed grimaces.”
The jury says: Bargain bin! T-shirts are sexy staples because they’re basic and simple. Don’t clutter them with meaningless slogans, obnoxious phrases, or any sort of wordplay that you’d see on someone’s Facebook status updates.
Fad Fashion #3: Leggings
“If you’ve got nice legs, this look can be attractive with a short dress and heels. It says, ‘I know it’s cold out, but I still want to give you guys something to look at.’ That’s just being considerate.”
“I like being able to check out the shape of her legs while still having to use my imagination to visualize what they’d really look like.”
“Leggings make me feel like she’s trying too hard. Or like she’s been warped through time from the 80s. Once and for all, Pat Benatar was not that sexy.”
“Leggings work for me, but I’m a leg man. I’ve seen a lot of wacky, bold colors, and I can see how some guys might find them unattractive, but understated ones have a certain charisma.”
The jury says: Keep it! Covering up your legs this way can add to the intrigue and charm of your look and stretch your clothing further between seasons.
Fad Fashion #4: Ugg boots
“Wearing these makes you look like you were stuffed into a time capsule in 2003 and just recently woke up. Don’t do it.”
“Unless it’s -10 degrees Fahrenheit out, I can’t understand why any woman would ever put these on. And, if she’s wearing them with a skirt, I probably won’t talk to her. Ever.”
“Short for ‘ugg-ly,’ right? Leave these to the Vikings, ladies. They wore them better.”
“Pam Anderson used to wear these on Baywatch, and it made me want to change the channel. Think about that. I wanted to turn off Baywatch.”
The jury says: Bargain bin! Somewhere, an Eskimo mourns because you took his boots and wore them all year long... for about a decade. Can you live with that knowledge?
Fad Fashion #5: Giant sunglasses
“This is the female equivalent of a hipster beard — fun to wear, yet obnoxious. But, if you make a joke about how your delicate retinas need 100% UV protection on a daily basis, I’d be cool with them.”
“I immediately assume that a woman is not attractive if she covers up half of her face with these things.”
“These are absolutely OK — if you’re 87 and playing shuffleboard. Otherwise, they’re just covering up prime real estate. No one is gonna bid if they can’t see the property.”
“These sunglasses make women look like insects! And never once have I looked at a grasshopper and thought, ‘Wow, sexy!’ Leave the bug eyes to the bugs, ladies.”
The jury says: Bargain bin. Don’t be fooled — a brief tilt of the sunglasses can make a woman seem undeniably alluring. Just make sure to pick frames that fit your face, not Rachel Zoe’s.
Fad Fashion #6: Miniskirts
“Provided your legs are shapely and not milky white, miniskirts are super-hot. Girls with Casper-colored legs can look just as attractive (if not more so) in a tight pair of jeans, though.”
“These are sexy, but I don’t think I’d be interested in dating someone who habitually wears them. Miniskirts will always get women attention, but sometimes it’s better to leave things to the imagination.”
“This is a time-tested, man-approved sure thing. Miniskirts and heels are like the playoffs and ribs — they go together perfectly.”
“Ladies, don’t kid yourselves — men will always look at a girl in a miniskirt. If that’s what you’re going for, put one on.”
The jury says: Keep it! Miniskirts have been around and in style since the 60s. Embrace the history and keep the tradition alive.
Matt Christensen has written for Maxim and WWE Magazine. He threw his Ugg boots away a long, long time ago. For the other side of this story, read What the ladies think of your fashion.
Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.