50 SHADES OF GREY Thinking: Are the Alarmists Missing the Important Layers of This Fiction?
Love is not separate from lust in a marriageable relationship.
Is the myth of virgin taming the wild thing lost on us today?
What is an inappropriate sexual first time? And all the blood and pain of a "traditional" wedding night is bull, and unnecessary except to those who think blood and pain prove virginity, not impatience and lack of foreplay.
Trust, whips, bindings. Do you trust your lover / spouse / significant other / partner?
What is the emotional and physical cost of redemption -- with your help -- for someone you love?
We're all piggybacking on the interest of this "controversy" but is the alarmists for domestic violence going too far in apparently proposing the attitude that properly agreed upon bondage, dominance, submission, and sado-masochistic behaviors LEAD to true violence and domination in physically intimate relationships without a woman's inability to stand for herself and say no.
That's not what I've learned from the news about bad and violent marriage, date rape, and war crimes. The nonplay crimes.
The limits change and can be misunderstood, that is a the end of the first book; Anastasia's misunderstanding what her limits are, and Christian's misunderstanding of his own motives (properly diagnosed, but he rejects that truth and internalizes the incorrect negative).
Are you certain she's not a sneaky dominant, rewriting or discarding his long held rules? And he the actual submissive submitting to her changes?
And never underestimate the charming fiction that we can influence and change someone with love; it can happen, but is not something you can count on or depend. But romantic female fiction is being loving and effective in that love; romantic male fiction is being hero and leader (soldier, warrior, cowboy, pirate, special ops).
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Neale Sourna Review, "the softer side": Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James
Neale Sourna Review
Fifty shades DARKER is a misnomer. This story is actually BRIGHTER, LIGHTER. So, if fifty #1 made you squirm too much, read this one instead, it's softer, the lovers are more equal and understand their differences much better. There's more trust based in knowledge and therefore faith, more getting to the center of what his past is about, and less worry about her virgin to sub growth or de-evolvement, as many I've heard were afraid for her about.
She's fine. She's stronger than he is and she's pulling HIM upward. Stop chickening out and try this one, and really read and understand the explanations. We mislabel things in our heads and hearts, Christian does too. What we say about ourselves isn't always the actual us. That's covered here.
And explaining the "lifestyle" and experimenting with "vanilla" with a dash of, well, soft "lifestyle" will be more palatable and a better starter for many.
Then, perhaps, you can backtrack to number one, once you really understand this isn't the abusive, evil stuff that gets you on the news or in jail.
Oh, and not "Mommy Porn" it should be "Daddy Porn." If dad wants to get more and keep his lady wife happier perhaps he should take a few lessons on creativity, trust, and obedience from CG as he tantalizes, pleases, and fully obeys Ana in their most intimate moments. She can say "no" anytime or and he obeys. And when she says "yes," he makes it interesting, creative, explorative, and emotionally fulfilling, not just missionary sex boring.
No wonder I've heard so many women say they loved CG but were not so kind to virginal, sexually ignorant Ana--too close to home?
There are few women who wouldn't want a man who enjoys extended foreplay diddling AND afterglow all night cuddling. Oh, wait, these are FICTIONAL people. But they have much to teach us about our own love giving and emotionally sexual "hard and soft limits."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)