Saturday, January 19, 2013

Ladies, Does This Sound Like Batman?

Not pushing or not pushing this, but his description is spot on for B-Man._NS

Catch Him & Keep Him

Can He Make You Happy For The Long Term? Your New Mr. Right Checklist

For example, maybe he lost his job or a particular sport or activity he's devoted to, or maybe someone close to him passed away.

If you've been dating a man when one of these kinds of situations came up in his life, you almost certainly watched him pull back from you a bit once it happened. Men often do this when they feel their life and significance is in crisis.

But here's where differences between an emotionally mature man and an immature man show up:

The Emotionally Immature Man Runs And Hides

An emotionally immature man will completely withdraw without warning. He will completely avoid addressing the issues he's facing and the feelings he's going through. Not only will he block himself out of his own feelings, but he'll block you and your relationship completely out as well.

An immature man can't admit when he's going through a challenging time, and he can't open up and see that allowing the people he's closest to and loves the most to be there to listen and support him is the best thing.

Instead, he wants to isolate himself to try and make the pain and the problem go away. But it doesn't work that way.

On the other hand, an emotionally mature man will handle things very differently...

The Emotionally Mature Man Stands Still And Lets You In

While an emotionally mature man will still feel the pain and frustration of his circumstances and might even noticeably pull back a bit in all areas of his life, he WON'T shut the woman he loves out of his heart and mind.

In fact, an emotionally mature man knows that in order to have a truly loving and honest relationship, he has to be honest about who he is and how he's feeling, even when he's feeling down about himself. And he can't hide away if he's going to stay close and loving with the woman in his life.

Emotionally mature men are willing to show their feelings, and more importantly, they're able to allow the woman in their life to "see" them even when they're going through a difficult time.

They will avoid the temptation men feel to shut down and go into "survival mode" all alone in isolation.

Have You Ever Watched A Man Go Into Survival Mode?

If you have, you know that there's no talking him down from it. It's simply a matter of whether or not the man has the mental and emotional tools inside him to handle the situation in a better way.

Mature men understand that their feelings can't simply be stuffed away or shut off, or else the relationship and the women in their life suffers as well.

If you feel you might need a little extra help when it comes to handling these moments when a man is going through a difficult situation, check out my program Communication Secrets For A Secure Relationship. I'll talk you through everything you need to know so that a man feels safe with you, and I'll give you specific tips for communicating with him in a way that brings you two closer:

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Maturity In Action: The Signs To Look For

Now that you're starting to get what I'm talking about, start looking for signs of emotional maturity in any and all of the men around you. Practice looking at all areas of a man's life, and you'll be able to identify a man's emotional maturity level:

Maturity Area #1: Work

Is the man able to handle adversity, criticism or even intense politics at work and remain level-headed, relatively calm, or even compassionate?

Or is he spiteful, does he talk about problems instead of thinking about solutions and how to improve personal dynamics in his work life and relationships?

Compassion and the ability to handle complex mental and emotional situations without coming unglued or doing negative or harmful things to other people is one of the best signs of emotional maturity - and sensitivity as well.

Maturity Area #2: Friends

What type of people does a man spend his time around?

It has been said that you can know all you need to know about a person simply by looking at the people they spend their time around. A man's closest friends and peers are one of the very best windows into his mental and emotional world.

Are a man's friends people of integrity? Are they doing positive things with their lives and committed to living a good life?

And are a man's friends capable of being in mature and committed relationships? Does he have any married friends who have stable relationships where both partners are relatively happy and fulfilled? Men spend most of their time with people whose values they share.

Maturity Area #3: Family

How does a man handle his relationships with his family members?

Sure, lots of people have challenging family situations, but whether or not a guy's parents are together is not what's really telling about him. It's more important whether or not he's on stable emotional footing in the way he relates to his parents.

Fighting intensely with parents, high and low emotional swings, or completely estranged situations without a clear reason can be signs of deeper emotional turmoil that's unresolved and might mean that a man will have trouble being there and being present and stable with you emotionally.

Separating The Good Guys From The Players

So you know, there are other key areas of maturity you should look for in a man to make sure you're not wasting your time with someone who isn't capable of the relationship you deserve.

My eBook Catch Him & Keep Him reveals how you can separate the relationship-ready guys from the players. Here's your chance to get the inside story from the mind of a man and find out the tell-tale (and not so obvious) signs that a guy is just wasting your time.

So that the next time you wonder if a guy is stringing you along, just jump to page 59 and know right away what kind of man you have on your hands... and how to handle him:

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You'll also learn the NUMBER ONE thing that scares a great guy away... and how to make sure a fantastic relationship never slips through your fingers.

Getting The Answers You Need From Him

Now, there are two ways to go about talking to a man and getting clearer about what kind of guy he is emotionally: You can be direct, or you can be indirect.

It's easiest to start off with being indirect. All you have to do is start talking about your friends, family and work (the three areas of maturity). Once you start talking and connecting, just simply ask him about these three areas in his life one at a time.

When he answers, dig a little deeper and try and get him talking about how he FEELS about these things. How does he FEEL about the people at work and his family?

Get him to talk about his friends and tell you what he likes about them and what makes them tick. You'll be surprised by how much a man will share about who he is and how he lives his life if you simply ask great questions about all three of these important areas.

Once you've talked with a man and perhaps you feel more comfortable, feel free to be direct with him. Asking more direct questions about him and his life once you've both been talking and opening up will feel MUCH more natural to a man than if you spring a direct question on him at the start of a conversation.

How To Attract A Mature Man

Now that you know how to zero in on a mature man who is capable of a stable, committed relationship with you, all you need to do is attract him.

Of course, if you've been through your share of dating disappointments and immature men, then this doesn't sound easy. But it is - IF you know how attraction works for a man and how to embody the kind of qualities a man finds irresistibly attractive in a woman.

In my eBook, I explain what draws a man in to connect deeply with you so he can't help but want to see you again and again. I'll tell you what makes a man see you as a "cool girl" he wants to get to know on a deeper level.

You'll also learn what to do and say - and what not to do and say - with a man during every stage of interaction with him from dating through exclusivity.

Once you read the male dating secrets in my eBook, you'll wish you had known about all this stuff years ago. So make sure you download and digest it before you even think about going on your next date:

Download My eBook

In order to get into a committed relationship with a mature man, you need to know how to identify him AND the specific ways to attract him. Once you master these two steps, I know your love life is going to get much, much easier... and a whole lot more fun.

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love.

Your Friend,

Christian

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