Like snowflakes, every woman is unique. Know these truths before venturing south. (And sign up for my Girl Next Door newsletter for more sex, dating, and relationship advice!)
A clitoris is secretly huge
What you see is a little nub called the glans clitoris, which is packed with about 8,000 nerve endings. But there’s more! Two branches, called the crura, extend inside and backward into the body—meaning the clitoris is stimulated during sex from the inside out!
So what do you do?
Touch her everywhere, and stop zeroing in on her love button. With all those nerve endings, it can sometimes be too sensitive.
She’s not symmetrical
Just like your left testicle hangs lower than your right, many women have a slightly larger left inner labia.
Rarely are her “lips” the same length, color or texture, much like the petals of an orchid. Why do you think the vulva is compared to a flower so often?
So what do you do?
Touch them! Stroke them lightly, especially along the ridges. But be gentle. They can handle pressing, but aren’t keen on being pulled or pinched.
Deeper isn’t better
Burying yourself inside her sounds like a mind-blowing move, but most of the vagina’s nerve endings are toward the entrance. She’ll feel you back there, but it’s more pressure than pleasure.
So what do you do?
Ask her what she likes. She might prefer a mix of deep and light penetration. Or a grinding instead of thrusting. Or… listen and learn from her moans. (Click here for more advice on how you can decode her sex sounds to know exactly what she wants.)
Don’t stress about G.
The G spot isn’t an actual pinpointed spot; the term is used more generally to describe an area on the front wall of the vagina. And it’s not sensitive for every woman. So if you find it–hallelujah! If you don’t, no worries. Plenty of things feel good down there, no need to spend all your time searching for the Tooth Fairy.
So what do you do?
You can feel the spongy area of the front wall by inserting a finger and doing a “come hither’ motion. It might feel awkward for her since you’ll be pressing on her urethra, so only continue if she gives you approval.
She’s on an angle
The vagina typically rests at a 130-degree angle, tilted toward the back of her body, away from the clitoris.
That’s why the missionary position is so popular: It affords the most comfortable angle.
So what do you do?
Consider her angle when proposing other positions. One that feels good to you could be uncomfortable for her. Again, ask.
The other hole
(No, not that one.) Between her clitoris and her vaginal opening is her urethral opening. That’s right, women don’t pee out of their vaginas. It’s a whole separate business.
So what do you do?
Avoid it! Even though you probably can’t even see it, don’t bother looking for it. It’s kind of uncomfortable when you guys linger there. Keep this in mind during oral sex, too. You might need to go around or “hop over” the urethra with your tongue or fingers.
Source: Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva by Vanessa Schick, Ph.D., and Men’s Health relationships advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H.
Learn something? Have more pressing questions about lady parts? Ask them in the comments or email me at GND@menshealth.com.
xo.Naomi
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